Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
