im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
