Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
