I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
