She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
