just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
