Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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