Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
