I am puke
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
