Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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