Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
