why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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