HIV tests are more positive than that guy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just high enough for therapy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
