she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
