I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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