Got a toothbrush?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
