id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
