this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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