I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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