I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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