How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
