so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
