Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
