I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize