I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
