If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
