the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
