if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize