4 words: hood of his car
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Everything about him screamed your future.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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