I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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