Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
