So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
