HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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