your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
