I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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