3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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