:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
