I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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