I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
