A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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