Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's Friday. Sex?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
