I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
