I puked a lego.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think people are normalizing furries
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
