we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
