At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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