you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
