What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
