If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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