you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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