he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
