Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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