Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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