Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
