oh god the rape fog is back!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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