If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
