I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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