I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
