i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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