dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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