I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
