4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
