This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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