how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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