you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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