My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize