I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
