Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
