that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
