Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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