hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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