My hand turned me down
I wish i was in the wii world.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
